... abandoned, neglected, ignored, you learned to dislike yourself
You see, the problem is: As a child, when you were left behind, abandoned, neglected, ignored, you learned to dislike yourself, not stop loving your parents. Now when he ghosts you, you guys break up or never even really get started (all of them are super painful, trust me, I know, I’ve been there too), you stop liking yourself and romantize him, you want to love him more and make yourself smaller. First and foremost, please realise that you are doing this pattern. Only then can you step out of it and break. If this happens over and over again. It is because you are used to the pattern. You don't even realize that you are repeating it on a daily basis. So it is time to letting go of the pattern.
And the forgive yourself for doing it the past. It is ok. If you'd know better, you would have done it differently. Everything happens in its time for my best Forgive him to not being able to handle this better. Forgive yourself you can’t handle this better. Continue or start to love yourself the way you wanted him to love you. Pay attention to yourself and appreciate yourself - what is good about you, - what you like about yourself and - all the new you are searching for - and calling into your life.
When this happens I work with three different constellation each session: 1. Inner child 2. With the parent(s) that strengthened bad beliefs 3. You and your greatest fear or anger It is about you regaining your worth, powe, your strength and establishing a belief system where you love yourself and what you do, no matter what. No one can take it from you, because it is so much part of you, it is you!!! It is about finding your home in yourself before you can enter some else’s home and not feeling like a mess or by accident give this feeling the other. Trust yourself and look after yourself. You are worth it! And btw so is you partner (soon-to-be) Love L